This was a game often played in High School back in the 90's. You had to choose if you wanted to tell the truth or do a dare. Both options were equally nerve wracking because both involved putting yourself at the mercy of an audience. These days it's a lot more about hide and seek. We`re not adolescents anymore: not my age group anyway.
I sometimes find myself at a table with present or former colleagues and automatically select the stories I want to tell. I sift through the easily palatable and the difficult to swallow. Finally I dish out some fast food information: satisfying their appetite with largely empty, mental calories.
"Why not truth? The whole truth?"
"Because nobody ever asks!"
In fact, the modern, adult game is more like hide and hide, with nobody ever seeking. One reason for this is the large amounts of baggage we carry as adults. The loss of perceived innocence...the weight of guilt and sorrow.
"Truth!" I chose.
"Who was your first kiss?" She asked with a giggle.
"Grant." I blushed.
"When and where?" She continued.
"Hey! That's more than one!" I didn't want to answer that one.
The answer would have been pretty innocent. Though to me, at that time, I would rather have dug a hole than tell the truth.
Today, I'd raise a statue to that one individual who'd dare to ask.
We don't dare to tell the truth about who we are beneath the surface. The fear of rejection, judgment and jealousy. We are intimidated by the apparent righteousness of others.
Those fears are real and I've been rejected, judged and lashed with jealousy at living in a way that didn't conform to the standards of my audience at that time. It is a pity to sacrifice a connection because their love is too big.
I'm lucky to have a co-pilot who has never conformed either, and who enjoys riding the wilderness of my body and mind. And once, every couple of years, I stumble upon another trekking through the same wild lands and we may hold hands for the rest of the journey. If we dare!
Many must steal moments of truth if only for a few minutes of catharsis between two closed doors.
Others resign themselves to the comfort of acceptance.
RAGE, rage against the dying of the light! (Dylan Thomas)
"Tell me what you really feel!"