I don't know if I really liked her, or if I was just horny!
"Mind the Gap!" I remembered the eloquent voice from the London underground, some 15 years ago. I would instinctively look down, and skip over it. It had been a fun trip to London, Camden Town and a worthy reunion with an old friend. It had also served as a romantic prelude to a marriage that would later fall through the gap.
Mind the void! I think to myself today.
Curiosity mixed with a seemingly unlimited amount of physical, emotional and intellectual freedom has lead me skipping over several cracks, crevices and gaps over the last four years or so. I would venture to say over the course of my life but that's just too broad for a piece of writing to be read between two metro stations.
I was recently taking a drink with a new friend and it dawned on me once again the speed with which I'd traversed various phases of life. All the way into my early thirties I'd never stopped to analyse the far reaching consequence of each choice. I'd always calculated the best possible outcome but never gave it a second thought on the chains of events ten, twenty or more years from that point on. Once the first child was born, all that changed. I was suddenly faced with the far-reaching implications of my choice. What had once been a slow developing skill of statistical telepathy turned into a full blown pilgrimage into evolving foresight...or the third eye, as some would call it. There was and still is an insatiable desire to know more, and further, into the unknown.
To be prepared, and to control. An art!
Reminds me of the end of the Loki season where he chooses to take all the timelines and single-handedly hold them together for probably...an eternity.
To avoid chaos, and to control.
As an artist, would you paint using a broad pallet of colours or simply use two or three that you can mix?
As a technician, would you choose a handheld multi-tool or a toolbox of individual tools?
It can be a difficult and most often, only a poor choice between something or nothing.
Through various types of encounters with people, some a little less orthodox than others, I finally listened to that lady on the London underground. Mind the gap!
Once upon a time during a rather delicate encounter I'd boldly decided to bear my naked soul. "Do you like it?" I'd asked.
"It's not my personal preference." Had replied my counterpart. "It does attract me though."
Don't fill the gap...I thought to myself later.
"What if you meet someone better?"
I thought about this question as I stirred the sugar into an already pretty sweet Cappuccino. Winter blues and a difficult week of snow and ice made it complicated to think hippie (happy?) thoughts.
"There will always be someone better." I thought aloud. "And there will always be someone worse."
I don't know if I really liked her, or if I was just horny! A cute phrase that sums up the bulk of sexual interactions.
'I'm looking to try new things. So it's up to you!' I read the text he showed me.
"Ping-pong." I commented coldly. "She's just bored. Not serious."
I need a blanket for this winter...read another profile description. It probably would have grabbed my attention in the past: A smart-ass comment from pretty face.
Mind your gap! I wanted to reply. More questions than answers creep up as the quest into the unknown trudges onward.
"We all have needs and those needs can change."
Yes. And yet, how far is too far and how much is too much? (My age-old question).
At what point does the quest for more (or better) become a routine exercise in filling gaps?